Emo

Here I am, contemplating about how it is going to end for me. I hate myself for hurting you. I don't want to hate myself any longer. I thought I could be a salve to heal you from your pain, but this chasm between us is so deep and so wide that even wishful thinking could not reach. I am way too far ahead and you are way too far behind. Knowing you now makes me sad because it seems that you are a lightyear late and I could have saved myself from such misery of wanting you and of not wanting you if Destiny was just kind enough to let us meet in time. I didn't mean to be deceitful nor have I wanted you to bank on false hope. The truth is, I am stuck in quicksand, I have no redemption. The more I struggle, my doom comes a little bit faster. So here I am, waiting for my inevitable escape to the afterlife. No one can save me, because I am bound by traditions stronger than fate. I can only covet you from afar because nothing can bridge the gap between the chasm that divides us. It would take three revolutions of the sun to bring me back to time because Destiny is cruel and she has played a mean trick on me. So, continue to thrive, because I need no saving. I can say that I am happy where I am. And you have to believe me. Otherwise, you'd have to fall deep into the chasm, and there I could never be able to help you live. Understand that I didn't mean for this to happen; for us to feel this void deep within, realizing the gap and the inescapable circumstance that binds me away. I didn't mean to feed you with my psychosis and let you suffer my pain. I am in this alone. I hate myself for hurting you. I don't want to hate myself any longer. So now, I contemplate how it is going to end for me. I might just well let myself bleed. Emo Girl