New Year has always been a day where people make resolutions that would sometimes require them to get rid of old habits and start better ones. There is a saying that before New Year comes, we should be ready to be "gone with the old" and learn something new.
Our family has been a witness of that saying. However, it was in a literal and tragic sense.
Someone close to us died on New Year's Day. Estelita A. Ceballo (April 22, 1924 - January 1, 2009), my husband's grandmother, left this world, right after all the fireworks has been extinguished and people have retired to their beds for a good sleep. Rejie was about to go to sleep when suddenly, Mommy Lina called to tell us the bad news: Lola Estelita died. Rejie, even with all those hard muscles, cried like a boy when he heard the news. While I looked at him, what I saw was a picture of a broken man and I can't help but feel sorry for his loss, and sympathize with his despair. Rejie secretly kept money from me to give his grandmother last Christmas for her medications. He admitted that it was quite a sum. He knew that I would not condone with such extravagance so he didn't tell me of his secret charity. For him to deprive his own son of that luxury and give his grandmother all his money, shows how much Lola Estelita meant to him. As he wept, I could only hug him in mixed admiration and sorrow. Rejie, being the tough guy that he was, was a sensitive soul. Normally, I would have been a little miffed at the thought that he gave his grandmother such a sum, but I couldn't make myself react negatively to this selfless act. Rejie has always been concerned for his family. He never thought that what he gave last Christmas to his grandmother, would be his final act of love. Maybe my husband was hoping that with the money he gave, it would make Lola Estelita feel better and that it would somehow prolong her life. But Death had other plans. Death is such a killer of joy.
Rejie cried, like I have never seen him cry before. And now I also weep at his loss. I can't help but be empathic. I hugged him real tight, to remind him that I am close to him and that everything would be all right. I hugged him hoping that if I did, I could somehow make the pain go away. I hugged him to prevent him from breaking apart, but what hugging did was that it made me lose my apathy and instead, feel empathy. To see Rejie break down over someone close to him, broke my heart as well. Marriage has made us one. His loss is my loss too. Even if I don't personally care about Lola Estelita, I am saddened. Tears fell from eyes endlessly for like an hour, and I don't exactly know what I was crying about. Lola Estelita meant little to me, but apparently, I have grown to be fond of the old woman because she has always been very nice. Maybe I was crying because I was reminded of my very own grandmother Lola Lydia who was also battling against death herself. I am sad because once again I am reminded of death, and how stealthily it comes to us. Death comes even at the time of merriment. As I said, it is a killer of everyone's joy.
So as the saying goes: "Gone with the old . . ."
I could only shake my head at the timing of such aphorism. This 2009, our family has lost an old soul. Lola Estelita has gone to the afterlife on New Years Day. Gone with the old, so they say. Yes. At the age of 85, she was indeed old. But we have to be reminded that Death doesn't only come to old people. Lola Estelita's death was God's providential plan. This 2009, in a figurative way, we really should get rid of our old selves and become better persons. Death will surely come to us. Why wait for New Year to make resolutions? The time of change is now.
Someone close to us died on New Year's Day. Estelita A. Ceballo (April 22, 1924 - January 1, 2009), my husband's grandmother, left this world, right after all the fireworks has been extinguished and people have retired to their beds for a good sleep. Rejie was about to go to sleep when suddenly, Mommy Lina called to tell us the bad news: Lola Estelita died. Rejie, even with all those hard muscles, cried like a boy when he heard the news. While I looked at him, what I saw was a picture of a broken man and I can't help but feel sorry for his loss, and sympathize with his despair. Rejie secretly kept money from me to give his grandmother last Christmas for her medications. He admitted that it was quite a sum. He knew that I would not condone with such extravagance so he didn't tell me of his secret charity. For him to deprive his own son of that luxury and give his grandmother all his money, shows how much Lola Estelita meant to him. As he wept, I could only hug him in mixed admiration and sorrow. Rejie, being the tough guy that he was, was a sensitive soul. Normally, I would have been a little miffed at the thought that he gave his grandmother such a sum, but I couldn't make myself react negatively to this selfless act. Rejie has always been concerned for his family. He never thought that what he gave last Christmas to his grandmother, would be his final act of love. Maybe my husband was hoping that with the money he gave, it would make Lola Estelita feel better and that it would somehow prolong her life. But Death had other plans. Death is such a killer of joy.
Rejie cried, like I have never seen him cry before. And now I also weep at his loss. I can't help but be empathic. I hugged him real tight, to remind him that I am close to him and that everything would be all right. I hugged him hoping that if I did, I could somehow make the pain go away. I hugged him to prevent him from breaking apart, but what hugging did was that it made me lose my apathy and instead, feel empathy. To see Rejie break down over someone close to him, broke my heart as well. Marriage has made us one. His loss is my loss too. Even if I don't personally care about Lola Estelita, I am saddened. Tears fell from eyes endlessly for like an hour, and I don't exactly know what I was crying about. Lola Estelita meant little to me, but apparently, I have grown to be fond of the old woman because she has always been very nice. Maybe I was crying because I was reminded of my very own grandmother Lola Lydia who was also battling against death herself. I am sad because once again I am reminded of death, and how stealthily it comes to us. Death comes even at the time of merriment. As I said, it is a killer of everyone's joy.
So as the saying goes: "Gone with the old . . ."
I could only shake my head at the timing of such aphorism. This 2009, our family has lost an old soul. Lola Estelita has gone to the afterlife on New Years Day. Gone with the old, so they say. Yes. At the age of 85, she was indeed old. But we have to be reminded that Death doesn't only come to old people. Lola Estelita's death was God's providential plan. This 2009, in a figurative way, we really should get rid of our old selves and become better persons. Death will surely come to us. Why wait for New Year to make resolutions? The time of change is now.
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