A Day of Triumph

I feel that I have triumphed today
Over my restless desire to be noticed by you.
It was an ordeal for me to pass by the street
Without looking at the spot where I usually see you.
But today I was successful and I bowed my head to pray.
I stopped in my footsteps and decided to go the other way.
I held my phone and I decided not to dial your number.
I purposely tried to forget about the digits in my head
And I'm hoping that the effect of anesthesia would finally kick in.
I feel that I have triumphed today
Because I resisted the urge to look at my window
Minutes before dusk.
I decided not to watch you pass by like you always do,
As you drive your motorcycle oozing with your masculinity.
Slowing down momentarily while you give me that smile
That tells me how much you like me too.
Yes, it was an ordeal to me,
Because you have been a part of my everyday.
But I have to stop this craziness.
I have to get a hold of myself.
I feel that I have triumphed today,
Because I resisted the urge to be noticed by you.
It was difficult. But I did it.
But even though I was successful today,
In my heart, I have never felt so alone.